This past Sunday night after my husband had gone to bed and the house became quiet, my mind drifted. I got to thinking about Star Wars. More specifically, my first memory of the original trilogy.
I was four years old. It was the year before my parents divorced and we lived in a garden level apartment just off 45th Street. I can't remember for sure, but I believe it was early fall. It must have been around dinner time that evening, because I distinctly recollect my mom doing something in the kitchen. My dad and I were in the living room. He sat in a beige chair, that matched our sofa, and I was on the floor.
A New Hope was on the television.
I remember sort of paying attention, but also recall being distracted by my toys. But that all changed when I looked up and saw this scene:
A New Hope was on the television.
I remember sort of paying attention, but also recall being distracted by my toys. But that all changed when I looked up and saw this scene:
Suddenly my toys were no longer interesting. Star Wars now held my attention. Why did this scene have such an immediate impact on me? Was it the two suns? The crescendo of the music? Luke's super awesome wardrobe or his feathery hair lightly blowing in the breeze? Your guess would be as good as mine, but I turned to my dad and said, "I wanna be Luke Skywalker."
Not Princess Leia.
Not Han Solo.
But Luke-Fucking-Skywalker!
Why?
Who knows.
I was four.
I don't recall my dad saying anything in response, but that wasn't a problem. For some reason my post toddler, pre-kindergartner brain surmised that he got it. Dad understood my wish and knew how cool life would be as a Jedi.
I grew up in the eighties (please don't do the math. It's depressing) and in a time when everything was all about Star Wars. There has never been a time in my life when the original trilogy didn't exist. It's always been there as a backdrop. I played the tabletop and card games. I made friends from around the world playing Galaxies (an MMORPG, pre-World of Warcraft days). I watched the movies and gobbled up merchandise. I even attended a Star Wars convention. I was, and still am, "mildly" obsessed.
Not Princess Leia.
Not Han Solo.
But Luke-Fucking-Skywalker!
Why?
Who knows.
I was four.
I don't recall my dad saying anything in response, but that wasn't a problem. For some reason my post toddler, pre-kindergartner brain surmised that he got it. Dad understood my wish and knew how cool life would be as a Jedi.
I grew up in the eighties (please don't do the math. It's depressing) and in a time when everything was all about Star Wars. There has never been a time in my life when the original trilogy didn't exist. It's always been there as a backdrop. I played the tabletop and card games. I made friends from around the world playing Galaxies (an MMORPG, pre-World of Warcraft days). I watched the movies and gobbled up merchandise. I even attended a Star Wars convention. I was, and still am, "mildly" obsessed.
When the original trilogy was re-released in honor of the 20th anniversary, I stood in line for the sold-out shows. The energy at the theater was electric. A whole generation had grown up loving the films but had never seen them on the big screen. When the lights dimmed we all lost our minds, cheering as if George Lucas himself was in the seat next to us. I'm not embarrassed to admit that I damn neared cried when the iconic yellow text scrolled up the big screen.
My original ticket stubs from the re-release. Yes, my friends. I saw it twice in less than twenty-four hours.
From that first moment of realized awesomeness when I was four, to all the times I watched the films and beyond, Star Wars has been part of my childhood and who I grew up to be.
So why does any of this seem important? Simply because Star Wars is more to me than just movies. And to discover the true heart and truth of this post, all you must do is take a look back at where it began. This isn't just about my love of a galaxy far, far away. It's really a memory and a story about my dad.
Today marks what would have been his 78th birthday. However, a heart attack took him from this world too soon. He passed away three weeks after my eleventh birthday. Although he's been gone for many years now, I still miss him without measure. But it's days like today, that I try to look back at that one moment when Star Wars became a conscious part of my world. A moment that maybe shouldn't have been pivotal but somehow was, and I'm forced to smile. That one blip in time had a profound impact on me and my father was part of it.
Was Dad a huge Star Wars fan too? I honestly can't say. I don't know if he was as enthralled to watch A New Hope that night as his daughter or if there simply wasn't anything else on the old boob tube and he landed on it after channel surfing. I'll never know, but somehow that's okay. I'd like to think that my four-year-old self was right and maybe, just maybe, I wasn't the only one who wanted to be Luke Skywalker. And just as the force will be with me always, so will Dominic Scalise.
So why does any of this seem important? Simply because Star Wars is more to me than just movies. And to discover the true heart and truth of this post, all you must do is take a look back at where it began. This isn't just about my love of a galaxy far, far away. It's really a memory and a story about my dad.
Today marks what would have been his 78th birthday. However, a heart attack took him from this world too soon. He passed away three weeks after my eleventh birthday. Although he's been gone for many years now, I still miss him without measure. But it's days like today, that I try to look back at that one moment when Star Wars became a conscious part of my world. A moment that maybe shouldn't have been pivotal but somehow was, and I'm forced to smile. That one blip in time had a profound impact on me and my father was part of it.
Was Dad a huge Star Wars fan too? I honestly can't say. I don't know if he was as enthralled to watch A New Hope that night as his daughter or if there simply wasn't anything else on the old boob tube and he landed on it after channel surfing. I'll never know, but somehow that's okay. I'd like to think that my four-year-old self was right and maybe, just maybe, I wasn't the only one who wanted to be Luke Skywalker. And just as the force will be with me always, so will Dominic Scalise.
Dad and me- This was a few years before the Star Wars moment. I don't have many pictures of him but wanted to share one. How groovy is his rockin' 'fro?
What was your first Star Wars memory?
Leave it in the comments below.
I'd love to hear from you.
Leave it in the comments below.
I'd love to hear from you.
