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Aww... wook at those wittle fangs.

3/11/2014

12 Comments

 
Vampire babies. You hate 'em, right? I hate 'em myself.

Recently two of my favorite vampire series added a vampire child into the plot line. While some readers may enjoy this type of development, this chick finds it extremely disappointing.  I read paranormal fiction for the great escape it provides. I want to get lost in a world where vampires are brutal, ruthless, and sexy; even if it 's for only three-hundred pages. What I don't want is a cold dose of reality wherein the vampires become parents. 

One of my favorite literary couples welcomed a little bundle of teeth and it bummed me out so bad I can't stop thinking... okay, obsessing about it. It was the end of the series, their final hurrah, and this plot development killed it. When a series ends, I like to think that even though I may not be reading about a character's adventures any longer, the danger and shenanigans still continue. This couple was passionate, madly in love with each other, and had sex whenever and wherever the mood struck. That's how I wanted to remember them. Instead, I'm picturing them wiping snotty noses and helping with homework. 

That's not to say vampire children can't be interesting, if done right. The author who did tots with teeth best was Anne Rice. If you've read Interview with the Vampire, I have no doubts you remember Claudia. Although she was only five at the time of her creation, the reader never saw her behave as a child of that age would. She used her demure appearance as an advantage to become a skilled killer in her own right. That was brilliant. Vampire children who need to be cared for as a human child would, so they can have a "normal" childhood, is not. 

So authors, I beg you, no more ankle biter vampires. If you must add one, make that child a raging psychopath and more brutal than their adult counterparts. However, if you feel the need to add one who wants to learn how to ride a bike more than she wants to munch on someone's neck, please for the love of everything that's unholy, put down the pen and walk away until the mood passes.
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